6 Things to Avoid as the Parent or Family Member of a College Student

Being the parent or family member of a college student can be a challenging transition, as it often involves finding the balance between offering support and allowing your student to develop independence. Here are six things you should never do as the parent of a college student:

1. Over-Communicate: Constantly calling, texting, or checking in can hinder your student's ability to handle situations on their own. It's essential to give them the space to adapt and grow independently while still being available when they need you.
2. Solve All Their Problems: Jumping in to resolve every issue your student encounters—whether academic, social, or financial—can prevent them from learning valuable problem-solving and decision-making skills. Encourage them to seek help from campus resources and figure things out on their own.
3. Micromanage Their Decisions: Trying to control what courses they take, which extracurricular activities they join, or how they manage their time can stifle their ability to make independent choices and learn from their experiences. Trust that you've raised them well and allow them to make their own decisions.
4. Criticize Their Choices: Devaluing your student's choices, such as their major, career aspirations, or personal relationships, can lead to a strained relationship and lower their self-esteem. Offer guidance and support, but respect their autonomy and their right to make their own choices.
5. Ignore Their Mental Health: College can be a stressful time, and it's crucial to take your student's mental health seriously. Dismissing their concerns or telling them to "toughen up" can be harmful. Be supportive, listen to their needs, and encourage them to seek professional help if necessary.
6. Enforce Unrealistic Expectations: Pressuring your student to achieve perfection in their academic or extracurricular endeavors can lead to unnecessary stress and burnout. Set realistic expectations and remind them that it's okay to face challenges and make mistakes as part of their growth process.

Remember, your role as a parent or family member is to support and guide your college student as they navigate this new stage of their life, not to control or shield them from every challenge. Allowing them to develop resilience and independence will serve them well in the long run.