5 Steps to Help Kids Process Disturbing Events

based on article written by Newport Academy

In a world filled with unsettling news, from natural disasters to acts of violence, children and teens can feel overwhelmed by fear, confusion, anger, and grief. These events often shake their sense of safety and stability, leaving a lasting impact on their mental health. As parents, it’s natural to feel unprepared to guide your children through such challenging times, especially when you’re grappling with your own emotions. However, you don’t need all the answers to be a supportive presence.Here are five steps to help your kids and teens process disturbing events, along with signs to watch for and ways to foster resilience.Acknowledge the Mental Health ImpactAny event that results in chaos, death, or the sense that the world is unsafe can profoundly affect young people. Whether it’s a natural disaster, like the California wildfires, or an act of violence, such events can lead to heightened anxiety, depression, or even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).Research highlights how teens exposed to these events—whether directly or through the media—may experience short- and long-term mental health challenges, including secondary PTSD (traumatic stress from indirect exposure). Signs of distress in teens may include:

• Sleep problems (nightmares or insomnia)
• Intense emotions and mood swings
• Physical symptoms (headaches, stomachaches)
• Loss of interest in usual activities
• Withdrawal from family and friends
• Pessimism or cynicism about the world
• Suicidal thoughts

It’s crucial for parents to recognize these symptoms and take action to support their children. Left unaddressed, these feelings may worsen or lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms.Step 1: Validate Their FeelingsLet your child know that their emotions—whatever they may be—are valid. Remind them that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed, scared, or angry during times of upheaval. For older children and teens, it’s also helpful to acknowledge your own feelings, as long as you don’t rely on them for emotional support.The most important reassurance you can provide is that you’ll be there for them no matter what. Let them know they can talk to you anytime and that you’ll help them find additional support if needed.Step 2: Use the Moment to Discuss What Truly MattersDuring times of crisis, conversations about gratitude, values, and community can help shift the focus toward what’s meaningful. For example, in the wake of natural disasters, you might discuss the importance of essentials like food, water, and shelter, or the role of community support during challenging times.You can also encourage your teen to recognize the heroism of those who respond to crises, such as firefighters, healthcare workers, or volunteers. These conversations can provide a sense of perspective and highlight the importance of unity and resilience.Step 3: Limit Their Exposure to Distressing MediaWhile it’s not realistic to completely disconnect teens from their devices, parents can guide them in managing their screen time. Encourage your teen to reflect on how their media consumption affects their mood. Do they feel better after spending time outdoors or worse after scrolling through social media?Reducing exposure to distressing news footage or discussions can help protect their mental health. Dr. Don Grant, an expert on healthy device management, suggests reintroducing teens to the value of offline activities, which can provide a sense of balance and calm.Step 4: Help Them Find CalmDisturbing events can activate the body’s fight-or-flight response, leading to stress, anxiety, and even physical symptoms. Parents can support their teens in restoring a sense of inner calm by encouraging activities that promote relaxation and mindfulness.Research shows that practices like yoga, mindful breathing, or spending time in nature can help shift the nervous system into “rest and digest” mode. These activities not only calm the body and mind but also strengthen family bonds when done together.Other calming options include:

• Listening to uplifting music
• Making art
• Spending time with pets
• Walking in a park or forest

Step 5: Encourage Meaningful ActionTeens often feel passionate about the world around them, and turning that passion into action can be empowering. Encourage your teen to volunteer, fundraise, or connect with community groups that support those affected by the event.By channeling their emotions into meaningful action, teens can experience post-traumatic growth—a process that helps them build resilience and feel empowered to create positive change. Whether it’s helping others or finding ways to express themselves through art, writing, or advocacy, these steps allow them to move forward with strength and purpose.Final ThoughtsAs parents, you can’t shield your children from the hardships of the world. But by providing a safe and loving environment, validating their feelings, and encouraging them to take positive steps forward, you can help them process disturbing events in healthy and meaningful ways.The goal isn’t to erase their pain or confusion but to equip them with the tools to navigate life’s challenges with resilience and hope. Remember, your presence, understanding, and support make all the difference.